Dear Tom

White power/Nazi salute at a rally in West Allis, Wisconsin. Photo by Callen Harty.

Dear Tom,

I finally unfriended you on Facebook. I’m sorry, but I simply do not want to be friends with someone like you any more.

You know I tried. When I would post items that promoted my political point-of-view you would often comment on them, generally acting as if anyone who didn’t agree with you was an idiot. I would do my best to counter with logic and reason, and perhaps a plea to your innate humanity, but you never seemed to hear it (while in fact accusing others of not listening to you). My fear now is that your innate humanity has disappeared.

My entire life I have had friends whose political views differ from mine and we’ve generally been able to disagree amicably. In fact, I’ve always said that being liberal means being open-minded to other viewpoints, so I’ve always tried to listen respectfully, put myself in the other person’s shoes, and when we still differ to present my views in a respectful manner. I don’t mind disagreements with people I respect.

But I simply cannot respect you when you share posts that are anti-Muslim with your own added comments that all Muslims should be shot. I cannot respect that you believe every spin of the conservative media (any more than I can respect lefties who believe every spin of the liberal media). I cannot respect you when you constantly post borderline racist articles, even though you claim not to be racist and even have a black friend who agrees with many of your beliefs. I cannot respect you when you call all gay people vile and sick, particularly when you know that I am gay (and as you’re espousing your anti-gay views probably tell others that you’re not homophobic because you have a gay friend from your hometown).

I am saddened by this. We grew up together. You were the little brother of one of my classmates. We both went to Catholic school and church. I haven’t been a Catholic, or even a Christian, for years. Yet I still hold onto the ethics I learned from the church. I still believe “thou shalt not kill.” I still believe that we should love all our brothers and sisters on this planet. I still believe in treating others as we wish to be treated. How did you move so far from those basic moral tenets?

I know that if your neighbors needed help you would be there for them. I know that you are a good husband and father and grandfather. I know that you care about your country, or at least your perceptions of what your country should be. But I don’t believe you are a good citizen. I don’t believe that hatred is the true path of any political party or religion.

You claim to be a Christian. You need to start living it. You need to examine why you hate so many people when your Christ was all about love. You need to look critically at your belief systems and determine why so much of what you believe is based on the negative. It is based on what you don’t like, rather than what you stand for, and I believe it has led you into a morass of political mud.

I don’t expect my friends to agree with everything I believe. But I also don’t keep friends who are hateful people. I don’t need that in my life. I hope that you continue to grow as a man. I hope that someday, somehow, something causes you to look deeply into your soul and that you examine where the hatred is coming from and what you can do to move toward love. In the meantime I will do my best to live my life in a positive, loving way without waking up to one of your screeds about the evils of Islam or murderous blacks or the homosexuals. I wish you more peace than you wish upon others.