Northern Lights and Smiles

My mother, Kathleen. There is beauty in the lines of her face. Photo by Callen Harty.

Several years ago I was driving back to Madison from my hometown of Shullsburg, Wisconsin in the southwestern corner of the state. It was winter and as I was driving I suddenly noticed incredible colored lights in the sky, shifting around, almost dancing, and as I drove further north they got brighter and moved even more, swirling against the black backdrop of the night sky. I was overwhelmed. It was only the second time in my life that I had seen the Northern Lights, and the first time I had seen them the display was nowhere near as breathtaking. It was indescribable. The beauty and power of it left me dumbstruck. I was overcome with joy and tears came to my eyes. Seeing such a thing makes one realize the smallness of a single life on a single planet, but can also renew faith that there is a power or energy or something far greater than us.

As I was driving home along the same road this evening I was reminded of that night. There were no Northern Lights tonight. Sometimes the miracles in our lives are not so grandiose, but they are miracles nonetheless. Earlier I had been at my infirm mother’s bedside chatting with her. I took pictures of her, studied the lines–the deep lines and wrinkles–in her face, listened to her carefully for clues about how she is really doing because she has been on the precipice of life and death now for a couple years or more. Yet, she hangs on, she survives. Those of us who love her don’t know how or why and maybe we never will. It doesn’t matter. And somehow in the midst of her weakened state she still smiles. She still laughs. Despite her dementia, whatever pain she might be in, despite all that she has been through, she still has a sense of humor. She made me laugh often when I was growing up and she still does, even though her mind is often distant. That miracle brightens my emotional sky far greater than the Northern Lights ever could and it somehow reinvigorates my faith. I look to the sky knowing that some day I will see the Northern Lights again and I look in the rear view mirror and know that my mother’s smile will always be in my mind’s eye.