Somehow, I am not yet numb.
While watching a teenage girl talk about a boy in her high school class giving his life to save others, tears come into my eyes and my swallowing becomes difficult.
So I realize I am not yet numb.
Despite another child killed in another school.
Despite a litany of shootings and killings reported at one time in the media:
- “Baltimore’s violent weekend continues with 2 fatal shootings overnight”–Baltimore Sun
- “Alabama cop fatally shot; wife charged”–Fox News
- “Man held after shooting at Calif. state park”–Los Angeles Times
- “12-y-o boy charged with murder in shooting death of 10-y-o brother”–New York Daily News
- “Texas pastor, wife shoot and kill alleged burglar at their home: police”–ABC News
- “Elite 8th-grade football recruit shot, killed”–Yahoo Sports
These are the stories of our times–the random shootings, daily murders, churches set afire, mass shootings, bombings and bomb threats, hatred, terrorism from within. These are the stories we carry in our hearts.
And somehow I am not yet numb, and I wonder how that can be.
Maybe it’s because there are heroes. Maybe it’s because there are boys who are willing to take a bullet to save others. Because there are some politicians willing to take a stand. Young people like David Hogg and Emma Gonzalez who refuse to stay silent. Regular folks who do what they can to promote peace.
And maybe it’s because I can’t be numb, because if I am numb I no longer feel, and if I no longer feel, I can no longer act, and if I can no longer act, then I can do nothing but lie in fear of the day when it happens to me. And I refuse to give in to that.
I will still cry for those who are lost. I will still fight to lose no more. When I die, I will know I did my best, and I will not die numb.