-
Recent Posts
Archives
- January 2023
- November 2022
- September 2022
- August 2022
- July 2022
- April 2022
- February 2022
- October 2021
- April 2021
- March 2021
- February 2021
- January 2021
- December 2020
- October 2020
- September 2020
- August 2020
- July 2020
- June 2020
- May 2020
- April 2020
- March 2020
- February 2020
- January 2020
- December 2019
- November 2019
- October 2019
- September 2019
- August 2019
- July 2019
- June 2019
- May 2019
- April 2019
- February 2019
- January 2019
- December 2018
- November 2018
- October 2018
- September 2018
- August 2018
- July 2018
- June 2018
- April 2018
- March 2018
- February 2018
- January 2018
- December 2017
- November 2017
- October 2017
- September 2017
- August 2017
- July 2017
- June 2017
- May 2017
- April 2017
- March 2017
- February 2017
- December 2016
- November 2016
- October 2016
- September 2016
- August 2016
- July 2016
- June 2016
- May 2016
- April 2016
- March 2016
- February 2016
- January 2016
- December 2015
- November 2015
- October 2015
- September 2015
- June 2015
- May 2015
- April 2015
- March 2015
- February 2015
- January 2015
- December 2014
- November 2014
- October 2014
- September 2014
- August 2014
- July 2014
- June 2014
- April 2014
- March 2014
- February 2014
- January 2014
- December 2013
- November 2013
- October 2013
- September 2013
- August 2013
- July 2013
- June 2013
- May 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- November 2012
- October 2012
- September 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
Categories
Meta
Tag Archives: pain
Cancerversary
One year ago today, sometime after 2:00 in the morning, I woke up my partner, Brian, and told him I felt I needed to go to the emergency room due to severe abdominal pains. I had just taken three consecutive … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged alcohol recovery, biopsy, brain aneurism, cancer, Cancerversary, chemotherapy, child sex abuse, colon, colonoscopy, colostomy, complications, constipation, Covid, CT scan, death, Devil's Lake State Park, diagnosis, diverticulitis, Dr. King, drains, edema, emergency room, fear, health, heart attack, heart issues, hiking, ICD, ICU, ileostomy, implantable carioverter defibrillator, infection, IV, life, liquid diet, living, love, lymph nodes, Meriter Hospital, natural causes, near-death, oncologist, opertion, ostomy, oxygen, pain, physical therapy, positive energy, recovery, rehabilitation, sickness, Spring, stricture, support, surgeon, survival, survivor, tachycardia, tumor markers, X-ray
Leave a comment
On Suicide Prevention Day
Trigger Warning: This post talks about suicide/ideation, child sex abuse, and depression. Please take care of yourself. If there is one thing in my life that I failed at that I’m happy about it’s suicide. When I was younger I … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged attempts, better, child sex abuse, depression, drug overdoes, drunk, heart, humor, Invisible Boy, love, meaningful life, pain, paranoia, peace, pills, razor blade, self-doubt, suicide, Suicide Awareness Day, survive, unloved, unwanted
Leave a comment
Pictures of a Lost Youth
Trigger warning: This post talks about child sex abuse. Please take care of yourself. My sister has been looking through old photos that my mother had and posting some online for those who are pictured in them. Recently she posted … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged aftereffects, Anne Frank, boy, child sex abuse, childhood, emotions, fear, goodness, guilt, happy, high school graduation, hopeful, idealistic, lost innocence, memories, pain, photo, pictures, positive, rape, sadness, sexual abuse, shame, smile, survivors, teen years, trigger warning, vulnerable
Leave a comment
#WhyIDidntReport
Why I didn’t report? Blame. I did report. As a little boy I told my mother and her response was, “You shouldn’t let him do that to you.” She didn’t know any better and neither did I. So when it … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged #WhyIDidntReport, alcohol, blame, burden, burden of proof, childhood sex abuse, corroboration, courage, drugs, fear, horror, justice system, love, memoires, naming, pain, physical evidence, reality, shame, statute of limitations, survivors, threatened, time, truth
2 Comments
On Suicide
Trigger warning for suicide/suicidal ideation. When I was living in my dorm in college one of the men at the other end of the long hall on our floor killed himself. In retrospect it was not a sudden thing. … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged abused, acquaintance, alcohol, alone, angels, best friend, child, choice, crisis line volunteer, depressed, depression, despair, drugs, emotions, family member, feeling, friend, gift, healing, hope, human being, human connection, Invisible Boy, light, love, minister, molested, pain, prostitution, protection, self-abuse, sex addiction, silence, suicidal ideation, suicide, survivor, teacher, touch, trust, turning point, whole person, worthless, wounded child
Leave a comment
A Gift
Over the last several years I have spoken to a lot of groups about child sex abuse. Typically I relate my own survivor story and then open it up to questions and answers. I am not clinically trained or a … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged abuser, alcohol & drug abuse, apology, child sex abuse, compassion, forgiveness, healing journey, human connection, pain, promiscuity, self-care, self-hatred, shame, suicide, survivor, trigger warning
1 Comment
About Choices
Life is about choices. All of us have had bad things happen to us. Life is filled with tragedy, hurt, pain. Some of it may seem insurmountable and some of it passes faster than we might expect. Some of it stays with us … Continue reading
I Am Rising
I am rising because silence is not an option any more. I was silenced too long by threats, social pressures, and my own shame and fear. It took me years to realize that keeping the abuse a secret helped no … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged abuse, Brink Lounge, courage, fear, feelings, Madison Wisconsin, male survivors, masculinity, One Billion Rising, pain, physical violence, sexual violence, shame, silence, stoicism
Leave a comment
A Single Bluebird 