Tag Archives: shame

The Zen of Ostomy

Posted on April 21, 2021 by Callen Harty

I believe, among other things, that this is a lesson in humility. When the doctor first mentioned the possibility of an ostomy as part of an upcoming procedure my first reaction was one of embarrassment and shame. It sounded gross. … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged colostomy bag, death, ego, embarrassment, emotions, equalizer, fear, gratitude, growth, humility, opportunity, ostomy, potential, relationships, selt-pity, shame, thankful, understanding, waste | Leave a comment

The Subtle Danger of QAnon

Posted on September 23, 2020 by Callen Harty

According to QAnon, I should have been kidnapped and held against my will while rich and powerful people trafficked me and abused me sexually. But that’s not the way it happened. From the age of ten to almost eighteen I … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged #savethechildren, aliens, asociate, Boy Scout leaders, brothers, cabal, child molestation, child pornography, child sex abusers, conspiracy theory, Darkness to Light, deep state, denial, Dennis Hastert, Donald Trump, fathers, Great Britain, Hillary Clinton, Hollywood, Jeffrey Epstein, Jimmy Savile, John F. Kennedy Jr., male survivors, neighbor, pedophile rings, priests, Q, QAnon, Queen of England, rape culture, Republican, rleative, Satanists, shame, Speaker of the House, stranger danger, survivors, trusted adults, uncles, United States government, Washington DC, white hat, Wisconsin | Leave a comment

30 Years

Posted on April 16, 2019 by Callen Harty

This week (April 18) marks 30 years since my last drink. Thirty years ago, late at night (or early in the morning) I had an epiphany in a bar in Denver and realized I had to quit drinking or I … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged alcoholic, alone, bar, beer, brandy Coke, child sex abuse, chilhood, Denver, drink, drinking, drunk, embarrassment, guilt, hatred, healing journey, hurt, isolated, jobs, life, pain, party, reality, relationshiops, secret, self-medicating, shame, shy, sober, social | Leave a comment

Pictures of a Lost Youth

Posted on February 22, 2019 by Callen Harty

Trigger warning: This post talks about child sex abuse. Please take care of yourself. My sister has been looking through old photos that my mother had and posting some online for those who are pictured in them. Recently she posted … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged aftereffects, Anne Frank, boy, child sex abuse, childhood, emotions, fear, goodness, guilt, happy, high school graduation, hopeful, idealistic, lost innocence, memories, pain, photo, pictures, positive, rape, sadness, sexual abuse, shame, smile, survivors, teen years, trigger warning, vulnerable | Leave a comment

Yes, This Is Who We Are

Posted on October 29, 2018 by Callen Harty

Aside from the ubiquitous thoughts and prayers, the refusal to consider any kind of gun control at all because it’s always too soon to talk about it, and the flags once again lowered to half-staff, there is another thing … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged African-American, American, anti-Semite, assassinations, Aurora, bombs, bridge, Christians, cisgender, Columbine, common ground, common sense gun laws, compassion, conscience, covert wars, death, disease, doctors, earth, empathy, enslaved, first responders, flags, forgiveness, Fort Hood, gays, genocide, gun control, half-staff, hate, history, Holocaust, Hondurans, immigrants, imprisonment, indigenous peoples, Ireland, Jews, Las Vegas, life savers, love, mass shooting, melting pot, men, Mexico, ministers, moral compass, murders, Muslims, nation, Native people, nurses, Oak Creek, pacifists, peacemakers, people of color, poor, potato famine, priests, privilege, promised land, Pulse Orlando, rabbis, random killings, republic, right-wing fanatic, Sandy Hook, shame, society, souls, starvation, Stoneman Douglas, straights, synagogue, The Tree of Life, thoughts and prayers, trans, Virginia Tech, volunteers, war, white people, white supremacist, women, worshippers | 2 Comments

Profiles in Cowardice

Posted on October 6, 2018 by Callen Harty

On Friday, the remaining holdouts on the Brett Kavanaugh confirmation announced their intentions in the vote that is scheduled for Saturday. For those who are survivors of sexual assault, the likely vote of 51 to 49 to confirm–unless something major … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged abuse, agenda, Arkansas, attempted rape, body language, Brett Kavanaugh, Chuck Grassley, citizens, compassion, conscience, corroborate, corrupted, cowardice, Democrats, Donald Trump, Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, drinking, drugs, elderly, empathy, false memories, FBI, fear, harassment, healing, hearing, heart attack, House, investigation, Jeff Flake, Joe Manchin, John F. Kennedy, jurist, justice, lap dog, left-wingers, LGBT, lied under oath, Lindsey Graham, Mitch McConnell, molested, money, old queen, Orrin Hatch, partisan, people of color, political cover, politics, poor, power, Presidential ambitions, Profiles in Courage, rape, Republicans, right-wing conservative, Ron Johnson, self-blame, self-hatred, Senate, sexual assault, shame, Supreme Court, survivors, Susan Collins, Tom Cotton, Utah, violence, West Virginia, Wisconsin | Leave a comment

Brett Kavanaugh confirmation

Posted on September 28, 2018 by Callen Harty

This morning I sent a letter to both of my senators and to all of the senators who appear to be currently on the fence about Brett Kavanaugh’s confirmation to the Supreme Court: The Senate Judiciary Committee and the full … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged advise and consent, Brett Kavanaugh, candidate, child sex abuse, conscience, Constitution, crime, Democrats, Donald Trump, Dr. Ford, fear, independent, innocent, judgeships, jurists, justice, justices, male survivor, Mark Judge, nominations, objective, political party, politics, President, qualfied, Republicans, Senate, Senate Judiciary Committee, senators, sexual assault, shame, Supreme Court | Leave a comment

#WhyIDidntReport

Posted on September 26, 2018 by Callen Harty

Why I didn’t report? Blame. I did report. As a little boy I told my mother and her response was, “You shouldn’t let him do that to you.” She didn’t know any better and neither did I. So when it … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged #WhyIDidntReport, alcohol, blame, burden, burden of proof, childhood sex abuse, corroboration, courage, drugs, fear, horror, justice system, love, memoires, naming, pain, physical evidence, reality, shame, statute of limitations, survivors, threatened, time, truth | 2 Comments

Paths to Healing Keynote Speech

Posted on June 22, 2018 by Callen Harty

At this year’s Paths to Healing conference on male survivors of child sex assault I was the keynote speaker. This is the text of the speech I delivered today. Good morning. I’d like to start by thanking Chris Taylor, who … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged #MeToo, 9/11, A Single Bluebird, adult survivor, African-American, alcoholism, allies, altar boy, American Family Insurance, angels, anger issues, articles, arts, becoming, black man, blog, books, brotherhood, Canopy Center, casual sex, child sex abuse, child sex assault, childhoiod, Chris Taylor, class, collective spirit, color, come out, compassion, control, courage, creed, Dane County Rape Crisis Center, DEnim Day, depression, disabled, domestic abuse, drug abuse, emotions, empathy, Empty Playground, equality, essays, faith, Family Sexual Abuse Treatment, forgive, forgiveness, Friends of the State Street Family, gay man, gender, gender identity, harassment, Harvey Milk, hatred, healing, heart attack, Henry David Thoreau, Hmong, Ho-Chunk Nation, honest, hope, horror, human, human connection, human spirit, humanity, inner child, innocence, Invisible Boy, Irish-Catholic, Jesus, Journalism, journey, joy, justice, keynote speech, Latino, LGBT, Madison, male survivor, masculinity, memoir, meningitis, minority, monologues, mumps, Native American, neighbors, orientation, OutReach, Paradise, Paths to Healing, peace, perpetrator, person of color, personhood, plays, playwriting, poetry, positive energy, post traumatic stress disorder, power, promiscuity, prostitution, Proud Theater, queer, race, recovering alcoholic, reocvery, rights, scarlet fever, secrets, self-abuse, self-care, self-hatred, sex, sexual abuse, Sexual Assault Awareness Month, sexuality, shame, siblings, silence, social drinking, Solidarity with Child Abuse Victims/Survivors, sorrow, spirituality, State Capitol, straight, suffering, suicidal ideation, teach, therapy, threats, trans, trigger warning, truth, underserved communities, UNIDOS Against Domestic Violence, universal truths, Utopia, UW-EauClaire, victims, violence, Voices of Courage, Waylon Pahona, Wisconsin, Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault, writer | Leave a comment

Musical Notes

Posted on June 3, 2018 by Callen Harty

Singing brings joy to the human heart. Perhaps there are those few who hear the joy of song and react negatively because they have hardened themselves to their own happiness. And perhaps there are those few whose souls withhold … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged a capella, actors, audience, band, barriers, Bill Bailey Won't You Please Come Home, Born Free, Brian, Capitol, character, chorus, clarinet, embarrassment, experimental plays, funerals, God, happiness, heart, high school, human, If, instrument, Irish, Jay Indik, joy, karaoke, languages, Madison, music class, musical, musical theater, notes, open mic, Perfect Harmony Men's Chorus, perfect pitch, Proud Theater, quartet, rotunda, shame, sheet music, singing, Sister Mary Carlo, Solidarity Sing Along, Somewhere My Love, songs, theater, Til There Was You, Tiptoe Through the Tulips, university, voice, We Shall Overcome, weddings | Leave a comment

Daily Triggers

Posted on December 5, 2017 by Callen Harty

Trigger Warning: This post is about sexual abuse, harassment, and child sex abuse. Please take care of yourself first and foremost and please seek help if anything along these lines has happened to you. Pretty much every day now … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Al Franken, Alabama, American Media, Apprentice, Bill Cosby, California, child sex abuse, Danny Masterson, Donald Trump, Dustin Hoffman, Dylan Howard, fame, fear, Garrison Keillor, harassment, healing journeys, Hyperloop, John Conyers, John Oliver, justice, Matt Lauer, media, National Enquirer, Netflix, perpetrators, Pishevar, Roy Moore, Senate, sexual abuse, sexual assault, sexual harassment, shame, statute of limitations, survivors, Terry Crews, Today Show, triggers, truth, victim blaming, victims | Leave a comment

Bolton Refuge House Fall Gala Speech

Posted on November 4, 2017 by Callen Harty

I was invited by Bolton Refuge House to be their keynote speaker at their annual Fall Gala. Bolton is the oldest domestic violence shelter in the state and is located in Eau Claire, Wisconsin. They also provide services for sexual … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged #MeToo, 9/11, A Single Bluebird, adult survivor, advocacy, alcoholism, allies, angels, anger issues, arts, assassinations, blog, Bolton Refuge House, Brian, Buffalo County, child sex abuse, childhood, coming out, compassion, control, cops and robbers, courage, cowboys and Indians, death, DEnim Day, domestic violence, domestic violence shelter, drug abuse, Eau Claire, Eau Claire County, education, emotions, Empty Playground, equality, Facebook, Fall Gala, fear, forgiveness, gay, gender, Harvey Milk, healing, heart attack, Henry David Thoreau, hope, human connection, human spirit, humanity, inner child, Invisible Boy, Irish-Catholic, Jackson County, Jesus, Journalism, justice, life, love, Madison, male survivor, masculinity, meaning, molested, monologue, opening night, Paradise, Pat Stein, peace, perpetrator, personhood, playwriting, poetry, positive energy, power, promiscuity, prostitution, Proud Theater, PTSD, queer, recovering alcoholic, recovery, rights, safety, self-abuse, self-care, self-hatred, sex, sexual assault, Sexual Assault Awareness Month, sexuality, shame, shelter, short stories, silence, southwestern Wisconsin, speech, spirituality, State Capitol, suicidal ideation, support groups, survivors, Tanya Potter, therapy, threats, trigger warning, truth, Utopia, UW-Eau Claire, victim, violence, Voices of Courage, Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault, writer | Leave a comment